My dear friend BJ Gallagher is the author of this post in honor of “Take Your Child to Work Day”.   Enjoy!

Every April when “Take Your Child to Work Day” rolls around, I think of my friend, author and entrepreneur Lisa Hammond. She was a young mother of two when she started her business almost 20 years ago. And she managed to keep her sanity while building her business, raising two children, and creating a strong, happy marriage – all at the same time!

Over the years, Lisa has told me some great stories about her multi-tasking life as a Mompreneur. She’s learned a few things that can help all of us juggle our commitments to work and family.

Lisa encourages women to be creative: “Find what works for you and your family,” she says. “It may not be traditional or even conventional, but that’s OK. Don’t be bound by what your parents did or what other people are doing – explore and experiment to figure out what works for you.”

Lisa explains:  “In my case, what was important to me was having dinner together as a family every night – no matter what. It didn’t matter if it was served on good china; it didn’t even matter who cooked it. But it did matter that we ate together.

“In the first year of my business, I was working out of our home, so it was easier to have meals together every night. My kids were five and eleven, so they were in school much of the day. My husband ran our construction business so he was gone all day, too. In the evening, everyone was at home and we sat down at the kitchen table to share dinner together.

“My second year in business, I needed more space so I moved my business out of the house. I moved our kitchen table, too!  I figured out that it took too much time for me to leave work, come home, have dinner, and then go back to the office to finish working. It was much more efficient for my husband to bring the kids and the food to me.

“I would stop working and have dinner with my family. I created space at the office so my kids could stay and do their homework in the evening. There was a rock-climbing gym across the street and sometimes they would go over there and train when their homework was done. We spent our evenings together as a family – but we did it in my office, not at home. That’s what worked for us.

“Did we have gourmet meals every night? No. I would make a pot of soup or chili – and that was on a good day!  But more often we had takeout Chinese food, Mexican food, or even pizza. But you know what? We had fun! We enjoyed our meals together every night and focused on the quality of our time with one another. Who cares if the food of homemade or not? It really doesn’t matter.

“We had an unconventional family life in those early years while I was building my business and raising my kids, but those were great years. Sometimes I’d put the kids to work helping me pack boxes. We were a family that played together and worked together. We had both quality time and quantity time!”

I asked Lisa what else she did to build a healthy family while she built her business.

“My husband moved his office to where I had my office so we could spend more time together. For us, the couple that works together stays together. And with shared office space, we were able to provide even more cohesion for our kids. My husband and I have always agreed: Family is #1 and work is #2.”

I asked Lisa how her business is today, now that the kids are grown:

“I don’t have to juggle so many different responsibilities, that’s for sure. But I think back on those early years as some of the happiest years of my life. In fact, I still have my kitchen table at work – I moved it into the break room. That’s where my employees and I sat for a cup of coffee or lunch. It makes me happy to have my old kitchen table at work.”

I asked Lisa what advice she has for single Mompreneurs who don’t have husbands to bring them food and help out with the kids.

“If you don’t have a spouse, it’s essential that you build a good support system for yourself – friends, extended family members, neighbors, other single moms. Build your tribe. Everybody needs a tribe – whether you call it a clan, a club, a posse, a support group, or a gaggle of girlfriends. You need a tribe even if you’re married – but you need one even more if you’re single.

“I always encourage women to be creative, be innovative, and figure out what works for you. And above all, cut yourself some slack! Don’t try to be Supermom. Give up perfectionism – it’ll kill you. Don’t worry about a clean house or home-cooked meals. Your kids don’t want Martha Stewart at home – they want a mom who takes time to eat meals with her kids, a mom who listens and enjoys time with her kids, and a mom who doesn’t sweat the small stuff.”

Lisa Hammond is coauthor of OH, THANK GOODNESS, IT’S NOT JUST ME! Woman to Woman, Heart to Heart (Simple Truths)

Today, I’m hosting Day 9 of The 10 Commandments of Leadership Blog Tour. For 10 days, 10 blogs are highlighting and discussing each chapter from The 10 Commandments of Leadership written by Eric Harvey and Steve Ventura.

Regardless of if you a leader of a large organization, a small group of peers, or your own family, you are often leading, and they count on you to be effective.

The best leaders are in service of a vision and a mission greater than themselves.  When we are following our passion to make a difference that enthusiasm is contagious and will be felt amongst our team, within our companies and in our families.  Inspiring others to serve by example is the hallmark of all great leaders.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” — Max DePree

Read on. Lead on. Choose to be the most effective and respected leader you can be.

EXCERPTED from Chapter 9 of  “Strive to Serve Others”

It was a Tuesday morning many years ago. And it’s one we will always remember. On that day, we learned one of the best leadership lessons we have ever received. We had just begun a meeting with the head of a new client organization. After the customary exchange of pleasantries, we noticed something on her office wall. It was a framed poster with a few simple, yet unbelievably profound, words:

A “boss” CONTROLS.

A “leader” SERVES.

Which will I be, today?

Without question, that poster captures the true essence of effective leadership – and the core principle of leadership commandment number nine: SERVICE.

As a leader, your role – your purpose – is to help others, to guide others, to bring out the best in others. Your position exists because people have needs. They need assistance; they need direction; they need resources; they need support; they need inspiration; they need accountabilities … and a whole lot more. Meeting those needs is what your job is all about.

You Serve Others When You …

• Make providing exceptional customer service a performance requirement for everyone on your team.
• Demonstrate respect and empathy for every individual.
• Tell people what they need to hear rather than want to hear.
• Hold team members accountable for doing quality work.
• Contribute to others’ success and well-being.
• Make sure that everyone on the team does his or her share.
• Keep everyone focused on the organization’s mission.
• Maintain a positive, productive, and safe working environment.
• Set the example and tone for everyone to follow.
• Provide resources and information, and remove obstacles.
• Do what’s right … what needs to be done – regardless of how difficult it may be.
• Hire and promote people of quality.
• Help team members learn, develop, grow, and achieve their personal goals.
• Know the way and show the way.
• Commit to being the very best leader you can be.
• Embrace and practice The 10 Commandments of Leadership.

To lead is to guide, to guide is to help, to help is to serve. Remember that. Apply that. Strive to Serve Others.

QUESTIONS for Chapter 9
A Paradox of Leadership is that “The people who work for you are also the people for whom YOU work.” Briefly discuss your feelings about this idea and how it may apply to you.

Now is your chance to win! Here’s how…

Years ago as I was trying to figure out what I was going to be when I grew up, I pondered the idea of starting a non-profit organization that gathered clothes for women returning to the work force.  Now more than a decade later after founding other businesses and writing many books, in a true full circle moment I had the pleasure of donating my first executive desk, office furniture and more business suits than I can count to the new local chapter of Dress for Success. I am thrilled that someone has started just such a charity!!!

One of the suits I had so much fun donating was the very suit I write about in this excerpt from Dream Big.

“I am often asked to do public speaking, and my beloved daughter Harlie has assigned herself the job of making sure I look right when I do it. Every time I am asked to speak the first thing Harlie asks is what I am going to wear. After all, in her mind if I don’t use these invites as an excuse to get a new outfit, what’s the point!

When the American Marketing Association asked me to speak, Harlie happened to be home for spring break. It was a nice treat to actually have her present in the dressing room instead of on the other end of a cell phone giving styling tips. After trying on a dozen things, we finally settled on a new suit and headed home to make sure the shoes and shirt I had in my closet would match. It was a go.

The next morning, however, the universe had a surprise in store for me. When I went to put on the approved ensemble I noticed a bulge in the jacket. Sticking out of my armpit was a huge white security sensor that the clerk at the store had forgotten to take out. I don’t know why we didn’t notice it sooner (or why we hadn’t set off the alarm as we left the store!), but I did know that I was in a real pickle since I had to speak in about an hour and, as usual, the rest of my “presentable” wardrobe was at the drycleaners.

Cursing myself for not picking up my drycleaning sooner I woke Harlie up to show her my predicament and beg her to race back to the store with the receipt and ask them to remove the sensor before I stood up in front of the AMA crowd looking like a shoplifter.

Being the good sport Harlie is she raced to the mall and stood outside waiting for the store open. What happened next still amazes me. When Harlie went to the counter and showed the clerk the receipt and the jacket and asked for the sensor to be removed, they told her they didn’t have the device to remove it! Didn’t have the device to remove it? What? Why would they be selling jackets at their store with sensors in them if they didn’t have the gadget to remove them?

Suffice to say, Harlie wasn’t exactly pleased. She explained the urgency to the manager on duty, who then began running around the mall to other stores asking if she could please use their security device to remove the tag. Oddly enough there is some rule against sharing these gadgets among stores, so that plan didn’t work.

Next the store manager called her other stores to see if any of them had the jacket in the right size without a security sensor sticking out. No luck. By this time Harlie was starting to steam and she made it clear that her mother was going to have this jacket back,  minus sensor,  in the next fifteen minutes or there would be hell to pay.

Desperate times must call for desperate measures because the next thing Harlie knew the manager had magically appeared from the back room holding a jacket in my size — sans sensor. Harlie called from her cell phone to let me know she was en route with the jacket.

We did a hand off in the garage and I raced off to give my speech. I arrived a little late and plenty frazzled and decided the only thing to do was to tell the truth. I have always been the type of gal who tells it like it is. So I shared the story of my wild morning with the audience. The women in the crowd laughed till they had tears rolling down their cheeks, the men didn’t quite get it. I guess that to guys once you’ve seen one suit you have seem them all, but for women getting dressed for public appearances can be a monumental task requiring the endurance of a dressing room marathon and the luck of the shopping Goddess to shine upon you—not to mention the pressure we have for that all important good hair day!

Dream Big is available at Amazon in both Kindle and Paperback